... life is a flickering candle we all carry around. A gust of wind, a meaningless accident, a microsecond of carelessness, and it's out. Forever.

Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies.

Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.

To this day I don’t know if he was struggling with the moral implications of gunning down half a dozen civilians, or if he was mentally counting to see if he had that many shells left in the gun.

When a man plans, a woman laughs.

Welcome to freakdom, Dave. It’ll be time to start a Web site soon, where you’ll type out everything in one huge paragraph.

Here’s exclusive Channel 5 video of a local man having his brain eaten by a winged gremlin. Local gremlin experts warn that—

You see, time is an ocean, not a garden hose. Space is a puff of smoke, a wisp of cloud.

My melon soulCrushed by your Gallagher of apathy

I'm scared David""That's good, because there's lots to be afraid of

I tried to say something cool, wound up stammering something like, “WANNA YOU WANNA WEENIE ME?” The end kind of trailed off in a shrill, choking warble.

Education is not preparation for life education is life itself.

The thing I don't understand is why so often one hears discussion of the fruits of human labor as if it's all the creation of some alien race.

But I think role models also start in the home with your parents.

Well, I don't look back and celebrate. I just always worry about the next one.

I pulled the oxygen tubes from my nostrils and raised the tube up over my head, handing it to Dad. I wanted it to be just me and just him.

I've always been prepared to write about the hard things. Only for healing, teaching, and enlightening purposes not to hurt or disparage anyone.

Perspective should be learned - and then forgotten. The residue - a sensitivity to perspective - helps perception, varying with each individual and determined by his responsive needs.

If you and your child were going to be killed tomorrow, would you not give him to eat today?

Instead, we just sat there, together but really apart, watching a show about a stranger and all her secrets, while keeping our own to ourselves, as always.

I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.