... life itself is brief, and that is what charges the day with such ridiculous beauty.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Only [God] can convict nonbelievers of their sins

I looked up to my parents because they were very successful in what they wanted to do. I was lucky; I didn't have to look far for role models.

Sometimes beauty needs a bit of ignoring, to properly come into being.

Just as Daniel Balalcazar said, it makes no sense to suffer in advance a misfortune that may never occur.

Technological civilizations don't last long. You're all right until you get a printing press. Then a race starts between technology and common sense. And maybe technology always wins.

I'm shocked, like all of us, including Donald Trump, 'cause let's not pretend that even Donald Trump thought he was going to win this election.

I used to ask Sean questions about acting. He's a brilliant actor, but I could never digest his information. I work primarily on an intuitive level.

Knowledge of means without knowledge of ends is animal training.

Evil's lurking, I can see him smirking.