moral, adj. Conforming to a local and mutable standard of right. Having the quality of general expediency.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Contrary to popular belief, going shopping is really about stopping afterward for cheesecake.

A society is driven by “social fear” always produces the seeds of doubt and unhappiness.

Yes, " he said sincerely. "Such a one deserves peanut butter on the seat of his pants.

There are never beginnings and endings in my work; everything just fits into place after a while.

When you hear a kind word spoken about a friend, tell him so.

I think that I am strongest in linguistic and musical intelligence, and I continue to work on my interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligence.

To be human is erroneous.

These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized.

You can do and have and be things that people once said that's impossible for you to do and have and be.

I constantly tour, even when I don't have a record out.