my mother ... took the fact that my taste differed from hers as a personal insult.

I sometimes look into the face of my dog Stan and see a wistful sadness and existential angst, when all he is actually doing is slowly scanning the ceiling for flies.

A wacky, trendy outfit on a guy over 40 indicates he's got big issues.

Beware the man who doesn't ask you any questions about yourself on your first date.

Men who have a lot of charm have it in place of something real that you are eventually going to want from them and find that they do not have.

No one would argue against the fact that L.A. leads the country in opportunities for being hip and pretentious.

A more complex - but only slightly more original - way to feel out of it is available at the hip and pretentious nightclubs and bars along the Sunset Strip.

It's just like magic. When you live by yourself, all your annoying habits are gone!.

You just never know when it might be cookie time. And, that is what the dogs have taught me.

My goal was always getting my work out in the world, and in many ways, I feel like the luckiest person alive.

The day is divided into two important sections: Mealtimes and everything else.

As in everything, nature is the best instructor.

Authors are but the instrument to be played. The art is inside them, but many people help create it.

To explain God after merely reading the scriptures is like explaining the city of New York after seeing it only in a map.

I've seen wonderful stay-at-home moms and moms who could use a little improving.

A satirical poet is the check of the laymen on bad priests.

I do know I want to have children. That's the only thing missing in my life. I certainly thought I'd have some by now.

I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it?

The minute you make people laugh, you get them to listen.

Each person was himself one alone. One oneness, a unit in a society, but always afraid, always alone. If I should scream, if I should call for help, would anyone hear would it even matter?

As life goes on I'm learning to trust myself more, so I am more comfortable - you have to be, doing things in front of people, especially when there's lots of pressure. I have to make decisions.