picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

The ministry of bearing with one another is more than simply tolerating difficult people. It is also learning to hear God speak through them.

Send these images of me through the internet out into the universe, where I will continue my out-of-body existence.

Procedures outside the stadiums and in the parking areas still need to be optimized, for example so that emergency medical services can leave the grounds on their way to the hospital faster.

The global crisis is caused by pathologies inherent in the global financial system itself.

I heard Yiddish when my father's family came to the house, which was as seldom as my mother could arrange it.

How many people make themselves abstract to appear profound. The most useful part of abstract terms are the shadows they create to hide a vacuum.

I am a big fan of Jim Jarmusch and I do love big screen documentaries.

We educators stand at a special point in time

If there's an interesting role that comes up as a great support role in a decent picture, then I'll do that.

What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do.