self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Well sir, if things are real, they're there all the time"Are they?

We cannot ask in behalf of Christ what Christ would not ask Himself if He were praying.

God doesn't make mistakes and timing unfolds as it should.

Believe one who has tried, you shall find a fuller satisfaction in the woods than in the books. The trees and the rocks will teach you that which you cannot hear from the masters.

A response is not just a re-action, a protest, as it were, against being disturbed; it is, as the word indicates, an answer. It meets the stimulus, and corresponds with it.

In politics, you have your word and your friends; go back on either and you're dead.

To call me in, I'm thinking I don't own a suit, a ring, a watch, a cellphone. I'm dragging up out of the woods here. You boys must be hard up these days.

In 1970, you went to school to find your husband.

Is calling English our national language racist? Are we at that point?