...the elephant smoked too much.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

But death has taken root inside you and you know it will grow, like a cancer with a voice, from now until the day it consumes you whole.

He would have beat everybody because we'd have found a way to beat him.

We have to take care of the people that can't take care of themselves. And I will do that through a different system.

Many senators have developed a canny sense of what will play best for the audience.

When you imagine the reality of the fulfilled desire and feel the thrill of accomplishment, your subconscious brings about the realisation of desire.

The fundamentals of what I'll do to prepare for a role don't really change. They evolve as you work with more actors and you pick up more tricks.

My goal is to never stop growing.

When Princess Diana got married, I was a very little kid, I think. I remember her dress, and I found the dress amazing when I was a kid.

If we suffer ourselves to be frightened from our post by mere lying, surely the enemy will use that weapon; for what one so cheap to those of whose system of politics morality makes no part?

I must have in stock 3000 songs you've never heard.