the only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner

The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard

It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing

Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs

Manners without sincerity, is called polite society

Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity

If life is a bowl of cherries, what's inside of it?

Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling

If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you’re lookingthrough binoculars the wrongway

Dr. Suess said: 'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened..' I tell my dates: 'Don't cry because it happened, smile because it's over

I transform fiction into memory.

Peace is more difficult than war.

I'm a lot of fun on a date.

I have faith, as I did when I announced my stem-cell decision in 2001, that science and ethics can coexist.

People just do the strangest things when they believe they're entitled. But they do even stranger things when they just plain believe.

I belong to everybody and I belong to nobody.

Let's cause some senators distress.

You can't sue a president, a former president. They're indemnified.

I don't know if it's art, but I know I like it.

Being aloof, gruff, or stern never got anyone anywhere. Who wants to be treated like that? Certainly not you. And surely not the people you meet.