there were times when I was more at home in front of millions of people than I was at home.

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.

Before you go to bed, write down three 'gratefuls' for the day and three 'did wells' (they can even include something as simple as doing the laundry)-the results can be amazing!

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

You have to have faith that there is a reason you go through certain things. I can't say I'm glad to go through pain, but in a way one must, in order to gain courage and really feel joy.

If someone tells you that you cannot do something and you believe it, they are right.

It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.

No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Without hope we fail to exist.

The government is ethics rape in perpetuity

I have a much easier time imagining how we would understand the big bang, even though we can't do it yet, than I can imagine understanding consciousness.

However much we may distrust men's sincerity, we always believe they speak to us more sincerely than to others.

The economy of gift, of art, is fundamentally opposed to the economy of war.

What the Soviet Union was to the ideology of Marxism, the Low-Fat Campaign is to the ideology of nutritionism—its supreme test and, as now is coming clear, its most abject failure.

Most of us lead far more meaningful lives than we know. Often finding meaning is not about doing things differently; it is about seeing familiar things in new ways.

The thing with me is I'd rather have my cult following than just have a huge song. I haven't had one album or one official single release, but I probably got 500 songs out in people's collection.

Even though you tie a hundred knots, the string remains one.