to balance my own checkbook each month, I simply record whatever is necessary in the following manner: '37 cents to cover embezzlement by somebody at the bank.

Of course the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Why do you think the neighbors put up the fence?

A surefire method of setting up regular communication with your kids is to get a job in an office which discourages personal phone calls. Your kids will then call you every hour on the hour.

No matter what sign you were born under, everybody else's horoscope will be more fun than yours.

Take it from me: no matter how few or how many children you have, or how little or how much money you make, your expenses are going to exceed your income by approximately a hundred dollars a month.

But though it had prevailed against such fierce adversaries as fire and flood, it had fallen victim softly and swiftly to television in the 1960's.

When we venture in that unfamiliar sea, we trust blindly in those who guide us, believing that they know more than we do.

Acting, I found, was the biggest charge I ever had. What other artist has it so good? Approval so quick?

If disproportionate results come from one activity, then you must give that one activity disproportionate time.

Be mild with the mild, shrewd with the crafty, confiding to the honest, rough to the ruffian, and a thunderbolt to the liar. But in all this, never be unmindful of your own dignity.

Would you be a poet Before you've been to school? Ah, well! I hardly thought you So absolute a fool.

It's Sanjit. It's a Hindu name. It means 'invincible.'" "That's great," Lana said. "Invincible. I can't be vinced." "That's not even a word," Lana said. "Go ahead: try to vince me," Sanjit said.

SINCE OUR GOALS REPRESENT THE THINGS THAT MATTER MOST TO US, SHOULDN'T WE FIGHT FOR THEM?

She felt like someone who drowns remembering what it was like to still be on the boat, so calm and at ease, so carelessly safe

Sports, politics, and religion are the three passions of the badly educated.