to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.

My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

In Beverly Hills, the higher you climb, the farther you fall.

All things radiate forth an intense aliveness.

There must be justice, sensed and shared by all peoples, for, without justice the world can know only a tense and unstable truce.

I think for any actor to say they don't like attention is ridiculous. Of course we love attention. But getting attention is different than pretending the attention means something.

Wisdom is the talent of buying virtuous pleasures at the cheapest rate.

You have to learn not only from your failures. You must also learn from your successes.

Whatever contradicts the Word of God should be instantly resisted as diabolical.

Mickey [Rourke] one time just basically drove off in the picture car that we were driving in. For my amusement. It was either to kidnap me or for my amusement.

I always figure from the cradle to the grave, we all have our individual journeys, and maybe my journey was a positive one and I accomplished certain things without stepping on too many toes.

My beats and my production aren't dark or emo by any means; it's basically the lyrics I think, and the melody sometimes can be too.