we're all bozos on the bus, so might as well sit back and enjoy the ride.

Laughter is the valve on the pressure cooker of life. Either you laugh and suffer, or you got your beans or brains on the ceiling.

you aren't what you eat - you are what you don't poop.

We are all the same person trying to shake hands with our self.

We can make a difference and have fun doing it

Laughter is the valve on the pressure cooker of life.

Good morning! What we have in mind is breakfast in bed for four hundred thousand.

Sure, I could of done it different... put my clown in a closet and dressed up in straight clothing. I could of compromised my essence, and swallowed my soul.

Death was Patrick Henry's second choice.

And I also thought that Richard Nixon was the greatest political education we have ever had, but it looks like we need to relearn them again.

Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore.

Friendship is a union of spirits a marriage of hearts and the bond there of virtue.

World War II ended the Great Depression with one of the great public-private industrial collaborations in the history of man.

Nothing is more natural to men in office, than to look with peculiar deference towards that authority to which they owe their official existence.

You need to impress me, outwit me, compete with me? Go ahead, knock yourself out, I have no problem with that at all.

I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any.

That's why I get excited over new things, because I didn't have much when I was smaller and my parents could only do so much.

The master minds of all nations, in all ages, have sprung in affluent multitude from the mass of the nations, and from the mass of the nation only-not from its privileged classes.

My greatest wish is that a certain way of looking at the world, a way I show in all of my books, gets into my readers' heads, and slowly alters their perception.

If there was one decision I would overrule, it would be Citizens United. I think the notion that we have all the democracy that money can buy strays so far from what our democracy is supposed to be.