who hasn't slept in an empty bed sometimes, longing for the embrace of another person on the achingly short trip to the grave?

Guilt didn't put any butter on the bread of life.

A cat is better than you are, more honest, more graceful, smarter for her size, better coordinated, and infinitely more beautiful.

From talk radio to insult radio wasn't really that much of a leap.

To find his own salvation, a man must first find the fool locked inside himself and set it free.

No means everything to a dog, nothing to a cat.

Catch a dog in your favorite chair, and he slinks away abashed. The cat will pretend incomprehension; surely you must know it's her chair?

If God did not intend the cat to live happily with humankind, why is there a meow in the middle of the word 'hoMEOWner'?

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

Success becomes evident when the principles that bring about success are obeyed!

When Thurgood Marshall became a lawyer, race relations in the United States were particularly bad.

Resentment is a communicable disease and should be quarantined.

I find sometimes it's easy to be myself, sometimes I find it's better to be somebody else.

Arsene Wenger was talking about comparisons with Johan Cruyff, a player who only comes around every 10 years and Thierry Henry is definitely one of those

The best sun we have is made of Newcastle coal, and I am determined never to reckon upon any other.

In the game of basketball, I play first off because I love it. I love to have fun. I love to run up and down the court.

When I can't sleep, I don't count sheep. I count lovers. And by the time I reach 38 or 39, I'm asleep.

I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage.

Black men of our day were never told, The sky's the limit. ... We could aspire to Joe Louis but never Henry Ford.